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Bearded Beatdown on a Bus

You could easily sum up this video [peeped at The Rap Up] as…young black male gets in argument with a white AARP candidate, fight ensues, and the latter comes out like a champion.

However, let’s not neglect the nuances.

As the video begins it appears that Beard Kringle (or Epic Beard Man as noted by Rizoh) is asking homie sitting opposite him how much to spit shine his Stacy Adams. This alone could be construed as a racist comment. Especially considering Increasingly Hostile Black Man’s (IHBM) response of, “Why a brother gotta spit shine your shoes?”

But, judging by the surprise given by BK (no Brooklyn) at IHBM’s response, and his own retort of “You offered,” I’m thinking IHBM said a smart comment towards BK, figuring him for a frail old guy that wouldn’t say anything in return. Maybe IHBM has shoeshine men in his family and was feeling a ways, who knows.

What we do know is from there BK insists that he isn’t prejudice, he isn’t scared of IHBM and he is 67 years old; all while making his way back to the front of the bus. IHBM then says he will put his foot up BK’s ass. At this point it becomes clear that BK is no push over, and he even goes as far as to say he will whup IHBMs ass.

At this moment it becomes painfully obvious that IHBM is now a plain HBM. It also becomes crystal clear that HBM has no real heart. Not only is he threatening a senior citizen with bodily harm, but he’s channeling Pinky from Friday After Next by saying, “Say it again.” A bluff like that works when the other party isn’t ready to get physical either. However, a man with a well maintained beard like BK’s is usually good with his hands. (Think Kimbo Slice. The book is still out on Rick Ross, though; no shots.)

After more grandstanding from HBM (peep his diddy bop to the front of the bus), with passengers pleading to let it go, it seems like the situation (no Jersey Shore) is finally simmering down. But then Faux Santa gets flip with the lip and says, “I’ll smack the shit out of you.”

It’s on.

BHM returns only to send a weak left towards BK’s chest. BK rises and swings a left of his own, stinging BHM’s glass jaw. And the fight is basically a wrap.

BK proceeds to duly serve BHM a two piece and a biscuit, with a side of fries. After said bloodbath—literally, BHM is bleeding crazy—BK insists he was acting in self defense and yells, “I told you not to fuck with me, boy,” before retreating, without his bags/groceries. The use of “boy” is kind of suspect, but I’ll give BK the benefit of a doubt.

BBM (Bloodied Black Man) is left still talking ish, and asking for an ambulance.

Moral of the story; don’t mess with 67 year old white men with epic beards, that wear fanny packs, ever.

Also, for all you cats insisting everything is all “post-racial,” check the comments section in the YouTube clip.

February 17, 2010 - Posted by | Hip-Hop | , , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Jus wow, dude took an amazing L from grandfather time…. Jus wow, makes me feel in a way that this generation isn’t built like us!

    Pow!

    Comment by ipoppedoff | February 17, 2010

  2. Looks like the Epic Beard Man is going super viral.

    check out http://www.epicbeardmanfacts.com

    haha tooooo funny!!

    Comment by jason | February 18, 2010

  3. You know, this whole circus is just more evidence of the true system we’re living under.

    Comment by themack | February 20, 2010

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